


Of Asthma Attacks and Archer's Plots

by Illusinia



Series: A Hodge-podge Family of Three [10]
Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Asthma, F/M, Father!Phil Coulson, M/M, Prompt Response
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-02
Updated: 2012-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-11 06:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusinia/pseuds/Illusinia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is amazed to discover that there is now a cure for Asthma. Darcy explains the modern understanding of the disease. Bonding occurs. Clint may or may not be plotting.</p><p>Warning: long established Clint/Phil relationship and parental roles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, few quick notes:
> 
> 1) this is for the following prompt:
> 
> When Steve was a kid asthma was still believed to be a nervous condition. There were no reliable medical treatments to help with an asthma attack? Now even serious asthma has very reliable treatments. 
> 
> Darcy has moderate asthma. Steve sees her having an attack at some point, runs over to help... and she takes a little puff of something and is FINE. Que Steve geeking out over her inhaler, Darcy grinning up at him, and that moment leading to a lot of bonding and maybe an eventual relationship?
> 
> Bonus: Thor/Jane or the other Avengers making an appearance.  
> Bonus+ : Darcy and Bruce have the same glasses proscription and swap glasses now and then. (Just because) 
> 
> Hopefully this fulfills the prompt to the requestor's standards.
> 
> 2) I do, personally, suffer from asthma (well, did until I was 10 and have occasional issues now). My understanding of asthma came from research into the condition and my own memories of treatment. Some of this may be a little bit out of date, and for that I apologize. I also constructed this off of my understanding of the condition, so if I'm incorrect, please let me know.
> 
> That should be it. Enjoy everyone.

When the fire alarms started blaring through the lab level immediately following an explosion that made the walls shake, Steve was the first to bolt towards Tony's lab. Thor and Clint, who'd been walking with him to check on the genius billionaire, took off with him. Explosions weren't uncommon, but fire alarms always caused worry. It meant the explosion had produced enough smoke or flame to set off the ones in the hallway (Tony had disabled the ones in his lab after they went off for the fifth time in a week while he was working).

Sure enough, when they reached the lab, smoke was billowing out of the open doorway and into the hall. It was only Pepper's advanced planning that saved them from having to crawl through a hallway filled with smoke. She'd had the foresight to install an industrial-sized vent just outside Tony's workshop as well as three in the workshop itself. Those vents were currently siphoning the smoke out of both the hall and the workshop at a rapid pace.

The three men reached the lab just as Jane, Tony, and Bruce came stumbling out of the lab following Darcy, who was kneeling on the floor of the hallway, choking. In a way Steve knew all too well. It was the choking that indicated she couldn't breath properly, the shallow coughs that had haunted him through childhood. She was having an asthma attack. Steve moved immediately to help her, even as she fumbled in her purse, the coughing growing more rapid as she went. 

Her hand emerged clutching a small piece of L-shaped plastic tubing which she brought to her mouth following a bad coughing fit and pressed down on the back of, taking a deep breath. She held the tube in her mouth for a moment, eyes closed as she didn't breath or move, before pulling the device back and letting out a heavy breath. She drew in several more in rapid succession, but only a few sporadic coughs followed, far deeper than the ones before had been.

Steve stopped a few feet away from her, eyes wide as he watched her breathing ease a little. The device was still clutched in her hand and she repeated the process once more before sliding the small object back in her purse and leaning against the wall.

Her breathing was still a little rapid and heavy, even as she spoke. “Damn it Tony, next time you decide to blow up your lab, make sure I'm not in it when you do. Or at least make sure I'm not sick.”

“Are you alright Darcy?” asked Jane in concern.

Darcy waved a hand at the other woman and offered her a grin. “Yeah, I'm fine. This is what albuterol inhalers are for.”

Steve's brows furrowed. “What's albuterol?”

Darcy looked up at Steve and fished the device out of her purse again. “Its a drug for combating asthma. It reduces the constriction in the airways and opens everything up so you can breath again.” She held up the small device towards him so he could get a better look. He could see the canister on the back of the device now. “This one is a rescue inhaler, so it's smaller than the nebulizer that I have at home.”

“It opens things up?” asked Steve as he knelt down to look at the small device.

Darcy waved it at him, then set it in his hand when he held the appendage out. “Yeah. Asthma is caused by construction of the lungs due to inflammation, reducing the amount of air an individual can take in. Albuterol reduces the inflammation so you can breath again.”

By now, Steve's eyes were wide as he looked from the small device to Darcy. “You can treat asthma now?”

Darcy nodded as she took Clint's hand and used it to hoist herself to her feet. She was shaking a little, causing Clint to wrap an arm around her shoulders and steady her. “We've been able to treat it for years. I'd be dead by now if we couldn't.”

“That's amazing,” breathed Steve almost reverently as he turned the small device over in his hands. 

“Uh, Steve?” asked Darcy with a cocked eyebrow. “Are you gonna start molesting my inhaler? Because if so, I'd like it back now please.”

Steve felt a blush overtake his skin at her question, handing the device back to her sheepishly. “Sorry, but that's just...really amazing. I had asthma before, when I was younger, and we couldn't treat it. All the doc's said it was some neurological condition that they couldn't cure.”

Darcy shook her head slowly. “Yeah, no, its physical. There's a whole list of known triggers and degrees of severity now. I can point you to some good literature if you want.”

“Later Darce, lets get you upstairs now,” insisted Clint, eyes darting to Steve before a smirk that Steve definitely didn't like crossed his lips. “Actually, why doesn't Steve take you up? You can show him that nebulizer monstrosity of yours, since he's interested.”

“You just don't like the noise it makes,” stated Darcy with a role of her eyes, even as Steve wrapped his arm around her in place of Clint's.

Clint rolled his eyes. “It's noisy and keeps me awake.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, go cry to Dad,” replied Darcy with a roll of her eyes.

Clint grinned. “Probably will, he always offers a good destraction.”

“Okay, ew,” groused Darcy with a glare a Clint. “No girl wants to hear what her dad's do behind closed doors.”

“Then stop flirting with the Agents we work with,” compromised Clint. “Seriously, Phil looked ready to deck the last guy he caught you flirting with.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “In my defense, he did get handsy, which I didn't think he would. I mean, come on, who tries to grope the daughter of an Avenger and the Boss Ninja of S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

Clint growled a little, eyes narrowing, apparently having not heard about this part. “Did you tazer him?”

“Of course,” replied Darcy with a roll of her eyes. “What else would I do?”

“Good,” replied Clint with a satisfied nod. “I wasn't really looking forward to a trip to Siberia.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Well, you dodged that bullet.”

Clint nodded and shooed them a little with his hands. “Alright, enough chit-chat. Get upstairs and use that noisy beast you call a nebulizer.”

“Yes, Mom,” drawled Darcy, even as she started pulling Steve towards the elevators. He looked kind of gob-smacked as she dragged him in and pressed the button for the floor where her apartment was. She noticed his expression as she turned to lean on the wall, noting the way his eyes were somewhat wider than normal. “Something wrong, Cap?”

Steve shook his head a little, eyes darting from the closed elevator doors, to Darcy, and back to the doors again. “Uh, what just happened?”

Darcy shrugged and reached up to adjust her glassed, frowning as she pulled them off her face to examine the lenses. “Dad was being Dad, why? I'd think you'd be used to that behavior by now.”

“Clint's...wait, Clint's your dad?” asked Steve, now completely confused. His fellow teammate had never mentioned having a daughter before.

Darcy nodded and sighed. “Yeah, him and Phil, er Agent Coulson, are my parents. Damn it, I grabbed Bruce's glasses by accident.”

Steve nearly got whip-lash from the change of topic. “Er, what?”

“Bruce's glasses,” repeated Darcy as she waved the lenses in her hands around a little. “I grabbed them by mistake. We have the same prescription and must have set our glasses down next to each other again.”

“Er, is that a problem?” asked Steve, puzzled about how they could even not notice they'd switched glasses.

“Not really,” replied Darcy as she put the lenses back on with a shrug and stepped into the hall once the doors had opened. “We swap glasses on occasion anyway. Actually, come to think of it, these might have originally been mine.”

Steve was still confused. “Why do you switch glasses?”

“'Cause we can,” replied Darcy with a shrug as she unlocked the door to her apartment and stepped inside. “Dad, you home?”

No sound echoed from within the apartment, so Darcy shrugged and pulled out her phone to text someone while heading to the closet. She extracted a large, boxy device from its shelf and put it on the coffee table in the living room, motioning for Steve to take a seat. “Want anything to drink?”

“Um, some water would be nice,” admitted Steve as he poked at the device on the table.

Darcy smiled and stepped into the kitchen, returning a moment later with two glasses of water. She handed one to Steve and downed the other before dropping onto the couch and pulling a tube off the device on the coffee table. “So, once I start using this thing, I can't say anything for about ten minutes, but I can pass notes.”

Steve nodded, his eyes taking in the device. “That's the nebulizer thing?”

“Yep,” confirmed Darcy with a grin. “It turns the medication into mist that I inhale. It's a more long-term treatment for asthma. I only use it when I've been sick though.”

Steve let out a quiet whistle. “I wish I'd had one of those when I was younger. It would have been nice to breath.”

Darcy smiled and tipped a package of liquid into a small capsule on the device and flipped a switch. The machine let out a slight hum as it started and Darcy placed a plastic mouth piece into her mouth and held it there. She grabbed a notebook from the table and scribbled a note with her free hand on a blank piece of paper. 'Have you seen the Thin Man?'

A smile drew across Steve's face and he nodded. “It's one of my favorite movies.”

Something that might have been a smirk if Darcy didn't have the contraption in her mouth tugged at her lips as she picked up the remote and flipped on the TV, starting the DVD version of the first Thin Man movie.

\----------------------

Phil Coulson walked into his apartment after work, worry furrowing his brow. Clint had stopped by and told him about the explosion in the lab and Darcy's asthma attack. He'd also mentioned that she was fine, but Phil found he never believed it until he saw his daughter alive and well. Moving into his living room, he found Darcy and Steve curled up on the couch, talking mutely as they watched the forth movie in the Thin Man series. Steve apparently said something funny, because Darcy's laugh echoed around the small room.

A smile tugged a the corner of Phil's mouth as he ghosted through the room and into the master bedroom he shared with Clint. The archer was reclining on the bed, one foot propped on the opposite knee and a catalog of archery equipment in his hands. Clint looked up as Phil entered the room, giving the older agent a smirk before he unbent his legs and set the catalog aside.

“They still out there?” he asked, nodding towards the door to the living room once Phil had shut it.

Phil nodded. “Yes, happily watching old movies.”

“Good,” grinned Clint, who folded his arms under his head so he could watch Phil.

Phil just rolled his eyes as he started to undo his tie. “Is it safe to assume I have you to thank for the fact that our daughter is looking rather cozy with the good Captain?”

“I'd think you'd be happy about that,” commented Clint with a grin. “At least we know Steve'll take good care of her.” The heavy sigh that Phil let out sounded annoyed, but Clint knew it was all show. “Better than some Agent who can't keep his hands to himself.”

Phil shook his head and looked back at the door curiously. “You have a point, but do you think your little plan will actually work?”

Clint gave him the cocky smirk that had driven Phil mad for the first few months he'd worked with the archer, until it hadn't. “Relax, this'll work.”

“If you get our daughter's heart broken, you have to pick up the pieces,” warned Phil. “I will leave the state and order Natasha to with-hold all assistance.”

“Threat noted,” assured Clint as he stood and stretched. “So, dinner?”


	2. Dinner with the Family, Plus Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the promised sequel. I'm not sure how much Darcy/Steve is actually in this, but there is more information about their insane little family. Including how they actually became a family. This is also going to be the last posting for this story, as I am terrible at writing Steve (see pretty much anything I've done with Steve in it) and don't want to mess it up horribly. So, dinner with the family and chaos ensues. Poor Steve. I did look this over, but if there are still mistakes I apologize. I blame the headache.
> 
> Anyway, hope everyone enjoys this.

“Hey Darce, how do you feel about pizza?” calls Clint as he wonders into the room, Phil not far behind.

 

Darcy looks up from where she's nearly curled into Steve, who's apparently been so hooked into the movie he failed to notice her close proximity. Which means when he _does_ realize how close he's sitting to Darcy, he nearly jumps away and blushes more than a little. Clint manages to restrain a laugh.

 

For her part, Darcy ignores Steve's startled behavior and turns so she's kneeling on the couch like a kid. “Can we get pineapple on it?”

 

“Sure,” agrees Clint as he heads for the kitchen. “Want your usual Phil?”

 

“Yes,” confirms Phil as he shoots Steve a bit of a dirty look. “What would you care for, Captain Rogers?”

 

Steve gulps a little. “Er, pepperoni?” He has to admit, it's a little freaky to see the man who had once had a major fan boy moment over him glare like that. Then again, he _was_ caught in rather close proximity to the man's daughter.

 

“So, same as Phil, got it,” states Clint from the kitchen as he hits a few buttons on his cell and presses the phone to his ear. “Hey, I'd like to order three large pizzas...”

 

Phil shakes his head as he comes to sit in the chair next to the couch, eying Darcy in a way that reflects his worry. “Are you alright, Darcy?”

 

Darcy gives him a soft smile and stands, walking over to hug him. “I'm fine, daddy. Honest.”

 

“Good,” sighs Phil as he returns the hug. “I'm going to have a long talk with Stark tomorrow about _not_ blowing up his lab while you're in it.”

 

“And I'll be joining you,” agrees Clint as he wonders into the living room, dropping onto the end of the couch closest to Phil.

 

Darcy gives them an eye-roll in response as she pulls away and returns to her seat between Clint and Steve. Without much though, she shifts to lean against Clint. “It's not like he _intentionally_ blew up his lab. Hasn't he suffered enough?”

 

“He did look ready to pass out when Darcy made the whole 'no girl wants to know about what her dad's do behind closed doors' comment,” admits Clint. “Knowing we're her parents might actually be enough to scare him into _not_ putting her in danger.”

 

Phil's brow furrows as his eyes dart back to Darcy. “I thought we agreed not to mention that you had family in S.H.I.E.L.D.”

 

“I never signed anything,” points out Darcy with a shrug. “Besides, it's the Avengers and Jane. They aren't going to care. And it isn't as if most of S.H.I.E.L.D hasn't figured out I'm related to you two _somehow_.” At Phil's raised eyebrow, she amends her statement. “High-level S.H.I.E.L.D. C'mon Dad, most of those people were here when I was born.”

 

“And when we were raising you,” confirms Clint as the doorbell rings.

 

Furrowing his brow, he checks his watch before standing. Phil's brow furrows as well and subtly, he reaches under the table beside him, hand coming back up with a gun. Darcy doesn't say a word, just shifts so the couch is providing a barrier between her and the door.

 

Steve, for his part, glances between all three members of the household before addressing Darcy. “What's wrong?”

 

“SOP,” explains Darcy as she watches Clint move towards the door, a gun having appeared in his hand from seemingly nowhere. “Dad and daddy have always been worried I would get hurt, so if we don't know who's at the door one of them has to get it. It's too early for the pizzas, so we're being cautious.”

 

“Dad and daddy?” repeats Steve, his mind having caught on the names she uses to refer to her fathers.

 

Darcy just holds up a finger for a moment as Clint glances through the peep hole before relaxing and pulling the door open. Natasha doesn't blink at the sight of the gun in his hand, nor does she ask permission before entering. Instead, she saunters inside and heads for the couch.

 

“Hello Darcy, how are you doing?” greets Natasha kindly as she approaches, reaching out to hug Darcy, who returns the gesture as if it were completely routine.

 

“I'm fine, Aunt Nat,” assures Darcy as she returns the hug. Her eyes go wide not a second later and she quickly corrects herself. “I mean, Natasha. Agent Romanov. I'm fine.”

 

Natasha laughs a little at her quick corrections and shakes her head as she pulls away. “Aunt Nat is fine, Darcy. You've been calling me that since you were two, I'm not going to tell you to stop now.”

 

“I know,” replies Darcy with a slightly sheepish look. “But Steve's here and...”

 

“...you thought I wouldn't want you calling me that in front of my teammate?” supplies Natasha with a knowing smile and a sigh as she comes around the couch and takes Clint's seat. Clint huffs a little but goes to sit on the arm of Phil's chair without argument. Darcy nods at Natasha's words, eyes falling to her hands. Natasha sighs and shakes her head. “You're family, Darcy. All three of you are and you all know it. I don't really think it's necessary to hind that fact from the others. You've been calling me your aunt since you were little and I think I've done a good job of filling the role.”

 

“Better than Fury would have,” jokes Darcy with a smile as she finally looks back up at the former Russian assassin.

 

Natasha chuckles a little. “Well, someone had to save you from the testosterone over-dose that is your father's. Though, I wouldn't suggest calling Director Fury 'Grandpa Nick' in front of anyone. He might mind a little.”

 

Clint snorts in his attempt to hide is laughter. “Just a little. Though I kinda want her to now just to see his reaction. I mean, it's not like he'd hurt her. Nick adores Darce.”

 

Darcy rolls her eyes slightly and shakes her head. “Not doing it, Dad.”

 

“Good to know,” mutters Phil with a shake of his head as his eyes fall on Natasha. “So, to what do we owe the pleasure, Natasha?”

 

A small smirk plays on Natasha's lips as she leans back against the couch. “Can't a girl come visit her family without a reason?”

 

“If they aren't you then sure,” confirms Clint even as he ducks a little like he's expecting something to be thrown at him. Sure enough, a small bean-bag catches him in the head not a second later.

 

“Funny Clint,” growls Natasha slightly. “I come by without a reason all the time.” She settles back again, hands folding in her lap casually. “However, you are right about me having a reason _this time_.” The emphasis is clearly there to prove that Clint does not have a point. “I just wanted to warn all of you that the others are asking questions about your family.”

 

“Did Tony flip?” asks Darcy in a hopeful tone. Steve furrows his eyebrows a bit and glances at her but doesn't get a chance to ask his question before Natasha responds.

 

“Yes, he did,” confirms Natasha. “He began asking why he didn't know about this in the irritated tone he uses when he's been left out of a secret.”

 

“Yes,” cheers Darcy as she turns towards Clint and holds out her hand. “I called it, pay up Dad.”

 

Clint grumbles halfheartedly as he pulls three twenties from his wallet and hands them to Darcy. “Alright you called that one. But I bet Thor just kinda blinked in confusion and shrugged.”

 

Another smile tugged at Natasha's lips slightly but before she could respond, Steve broke in.

 

“You made a bet with your father?!” exclaims Steve, a little shocked. It isn't that he's against gambling, but it seems like an irresponsible thing for a parent to do.

 

Darcy just shrugs. “Dad and I have been making bets for years. Daddy and I make bets too.”

 

Steve blinked again, apparently a little surprised, then looked towards Clint before turning back to Darcy and pointing in the archer's general direction. “He's 'dad' or 'daddy'?”

 

“Dad,” replies Darcy as she tucks the money into her bra which earns her a glare of disapproval from Phil and an approving nod from Natasha. “I can't call them both dad, there's no way to differentiate. So, Clint's 'dad' and Phil's just 'daddy' because, well, he's always been daddy ever since I could talk.”

 

“Clint wasn't always 'dad' though?” questions Steve, apparently still confused.

 

Darcy shakes her head. “Nope, Clint started as 'dada'. I decided that 'dada' probably needed to change when I was about seven though, so he became just 'dad'.”

 

Steve nods, using the opening to ask the question he's been wondering since the scene downstairs. A question that makes him blush more than a little. “So, er, how do two fellas, um...”

 

Clint offers Steve a grin that can't be anything but trouble. “If you want the physic's of it, I can get you a book.”

 

Natasha rolls her eyes, cutting in before Steve turns any redder. Which probably isn't possible given he resembles a tomato at the moment. “I think he wants to know how it is you two came to have Darcy, not about how sex between two men works.”

 

Steve actually manages to turn redder at that point but nods to confirm Natasha's explanation.

 

Darcy, who's shaking with silent laughter, manages to speak up around her giggles. “I'm Phil's biologically and Clint's by adoption.” Clearing her throat, she pauses for a moment, her face sobering further as a though crosses her mind before she slowly begins to explain. “My mom died when I was born. There were...issues.” Again, she pauses to glance at Phil before pushing onward. “Dad showed up a few days later and hung around to help. One thing just kinda led to another and before anyone knew it, he was living in the house and helping take care of me full time. Him and daddy got together just after my first birthday.”

 

“I took over the role of female influence when she was a toddler,” explains Natasha, speaking up as she, too, glances at Phil with concern. For his part, Phil's face is stone but Steve can see where the cracks are starting to show up just a little. “And Director Fury babysat her when we were all busy or deployed.”

 

Steve, still feeling a little dazed, turns towards Darcy completely. “Why do you call Director Fury 'Grandpa Nick' if he was just your babysitter?”

 

“Because he watched me overnight on more than one occasion,” explains Darcy with a shrug. “That's what I was told grandparents are supposed to do, so he became 'grandpa Nick'.”

 

“She was three at the time,” offers Phil, his voice a little tight. “To a three year old, it doesn't matter if someone is actually related to them or not if they fill a specific role.”

 

“Its true,” confirms Darcy with a sage nod. “Look at Dad and his tendency to nickname everyone.”

 

“Hey!” exclaims Clint unhappily. “You like my nicknames.”

 

Steve considers asking for a minute before deciding he doesn't want to know. Thankfully, everyone is saved by the doorbell ringing again. This time, there are no guns drawn as Clint again heads for the door. There is the customary check, but apparently the guy doesn't look intimidating because Clint still opens the door and trades money for pizza. In a matter of moments, he's back in the living room with the pizza boxes stacked on top of one another.

 

Darcy and Natasha don't say a word as they move everything aside for the boxes to be spread across the coffee table. All three sit lined up: pepperoni, pineapple, and tomato all sitting in a row. Phil, who disappeared while Clint was answering the door, appears beside the coffee table again wordlessly with plates and napkins in hand. From there it's a silent, organized assembly line that involves Darcy and Natasha plating pizza and passing it around. No one actually talks again until everyone has pizza in hand and Darcy has returned to her previous movie position curled near Steve, who's still looking nervous. Natasha has perched herself on the other side of Steve, making it impossible for the poor man to move too far away from Darcy.

 

Clint shots Natasha a quick smirk, one that clearly says 'you rock, thank you'. Phil looks disapproving, but doesn't actually say anything about it. Really, he can't argue that Darcy dating Steve is _that bad_ of an idea. Assuming the super-soldier in question doesn't hurt his daughter. He'd really hate to have to kill his idol. Not that Fury, Natasha, or Clint might not beat him to it.

 

“So, you grew up in S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Steve's question shouldn't be as surprising as it apparently is, given the looks he's getting from Phil and Clint.

 

Darcy ignores both her fathers', nodding calmly. “Yep. It's kinda fun too. Dad taught me how to sneak through the air-vents and scale elevator shafts, Aunt Nat taught me self-defense moves that probably have their own weapons classifications, and daddy made sure I could talk my way out of pretty much anything by the time I was 8.”

 

Somehow, this information is both surprising and completely unsurprising. Steve really never thought it could be possible to feel both at the same time. “So why don't you work for S.H.I.E.L.D.? Why work for Jane?”

 

“'Cause everyone in my family is over-protective and they all think me working for S.H.I.E.L.D. equals my immanent death.” Darcy's flippant reply almost seems callous, until Steve looks up and realizes Natasha, Clint, and Phil are all nodding in agreement.

 

At Steve's raised eyebrow, Clint just shrugs. “Darce is our only kid. Plus, we know how dangerous S.H.I.E.L.D. work can be. And Fury probably wouldn't hire her anyway, just because if anything happened to her, he'd have to answer to the three of us.”

 

“Apparently, facing down myself, Clint, and Phil all at once is paramount to a very painful, creative, and drawn-out death,” explains Natasha with a smile that just borders on shark like.

 

Darcy rolls her eyes and leans against Steve's arm. “Stop it Aunt Nat, you're making him nervous.”  
  


“She's right, Tasha. You know your smile can scare the paint off walls.” Again, Clint ducks as a second bean-bag flies by his head. Steve wonders momentarily where Natasha is keeping those bean-bags and why she has them. Then dismisses the question because, really, weirder things have come to light tonight.

 

“And your smile breaks mirrors,” returns Natasha, a touch of a smirk turning up her lips. “That is why Phil removed all of the mirrors in the apartment, after all.”

 

Steve's brow furrows as he glances around and notes that he hasn't actually seen a mirror in the apartment since he arrived.

 

Darcy must see him do so, because she chuckles and leans up to whisper in his ear. “Daddy actually removed the mirrors because we're rehanging them in more strategic places to create additional lines of sight.”

 

Again, Steve feels both surprised and completely unsurprised at the same time. He's also beginning to wonder if this feeling is going to become a permanent fixture in his life. _Maybe if I actually ask Darcy out-_

 

Steve is brought out of his thoughts by another knock at the door. Clint and Phil exchange concerned looks and even begin to follow the same procedure as before, but Natasha flips over the back of the couch instead. Her feet seem to barely touch the ground as she moves towards the door soundlessly. Neither Phil or Clint move as she slips up to the door and peers through the peep-hole before giving the all clear signal and heading back to the couch. Apparently, she doesn't answer doors for other people.

 

Phil stands without a word, heading towards the front door with the measured steps of a man who's completely in control. Even though there is no way Phil can control whats on the other side of the door. At least, not without knowing what it is.

 

A second series of knocks comes before Phil can reach the door, louder and a touch annoyed. Darcy rolls her eyes and leans against the back of the couch, head falling onto Steve's shoulder. He stiffens some, but relaxes again when Clint offers him a nearly-approving smirk. Apparently, Clint doesn't disapprove, even if Phil does. Well, that could make things awkward.

 

The sound of the door locks unlatching proceeds the door actually swinging open. Steve looks over just as Tony comes waltzing into the apartment without a word. And stops dead when he notices Natasha, Clint, Steve, and Darcy all seated around the coffee table with pizza.

 

From outside the door, Pepper taps Phil on the shoulder and offers him an apologetic smile. “Hello Phil. Tony! You can't just walk into other people's homes.”

 

“Says who?” asks Tony as he glances at Pepper over his shoulder. “Steve did.”

 

“Steve was invited here,” points out Clint mildly before he takes another bite of pizza. Apparently, he's not particularly surprised by any of this. Then again, he saw more of the chaos unfold than anyone else, save Natasha.

 

Phil sighs and offers Pepper a smile. “Please, come in Pepper.”

 

“Thank you, Phil.” Pepper steps inside calmly, leveling a look at Tony that clearly says 'see? Is that so hard?'.

 

Tony's response is an eye-roll and scoff. “Whatever, Phil was gonna let us in anyway.” Pepper looks ready to argue but Tony continues before she can. “So, when were you going to mention you had a family, Agent?”

 

“I wasn't planning to ever mention it, Mr. Stark,” replies Phil, his voice level and calm. Well, almost. Darcy and Clint apparently see something that amuses them, because they exchange grins before turning back to the action like excited children. “At least, not to you.”

 

“Not to me specifically? I'm shocked Agent! I thought we were closer than that.” He pauses for a second, amid the various looks of 'seriously?' coming from Natasha, Clint, and Darcy. “Well, I at least would have thought it would be in your file.”

 

“Snooping in S.H.I.E.L.D. records will get you shot,” warns Darcy with a shake of her head, turning her body around so she's kneeling on the couch next to Steve. “I saw it happen once.”

 

“You did not,” counters Clint, his eyes narrowing slightly. “At least, you'd better not have. No one should have ever been shot in front of you.”

 

“I said shot, not killed,” points out Darcy with her own eye-roll. “Besides, Aunt Nat shot that one guy when I was 9 who broke into the base and tried to use me as a hostage.”

 

“Those were special circumstances, Darcy,” reminds Phil, eyes trained wearily on Tony. “And please, could we not bring that particular incident up? I try my best not to have nightmares about that to this day.”

 

“'Aunt Nat'?” questions Tony with a grin as his eyes fall on Natasha. “Natasha, I'm hurt. You have a niece and didn't tell me?”

 

“What reason would I possibly have for divulging that information, Tony?” queried Natasha, face completely neutral.

 

“Well, I was your boss for a little while...” starts Tony, who is swiftly cut off by Pepper covering his mouth.

 

“Tony, enough. Before you stick your foot further down your throat than it already is.” Turning back to Phil, she offered him an apologetic smile before turning towards where Darcy was seated on the couch. “How are you feeling, Darcy? Phil texted me about what happened.”

 

“Did he mention threatening Tony?” asked Darcy curiously, head cocking slightly to the side.

 

Pepper nodded with a smile. “He suggested we tag-team the threat. Restricted lab access for a month on top of a hefty warning about what could happen to him if you get hurt.”

 

“Oh, I gotta read this. Daddy, where's your phone?” asks Darcy as she vaults over the back of the couch and heads towards her fathers' bedroom.

 

“On the dresser,” replies Phil easily as he returns to his chair after closing the door. “Pizza, Pepper?”

 

Pepper shook her head. “No thank you, I've already eaten and so has Tony.”

 

By this point, the genius had clearly gotten tired of being ignored and slipped out of Pepper's grasp, dropping gracefully into the spot previously occupied by Darcy. “So, never would have pegged you for the family type, Agent.”

 

“Tony...” Pepper's groan is cut off by the shout of 'ah-hah!' from Darcy seconds before she comes back into the main room with Phil's phone in her grasp. Her fingers are already skimming over the buttons as she tracks down the texts with a grin.

 

For a moment, she does nothing but read. Until something catches her eye and causes one of her eyebrows to arch as she glances up at her father. “For the record, I'm not sure that threat is physically possible.”  
  


Clint's eyebrows furrow for a moment as he moves to read over Darcy's shoulder before shaking his head. “Nah, that's totally possible. I've seen 'Tasha do it before.”

 

“Then you're going to have to show me how it's done, because I would love to know how to do that,” insists Darcy as she flips the phone shut.

  
“Darcy, what did I tell you about asking Natasha to teach you how to severely maim someone?” asks Phil, tone patient and soft in a way that makes Steve shiver a little. It's strange to see someone who is normally so serious speak with such a fatherly tone.

 

Darcy sighs and hands the phone to Phil before dropping onto Steve's lap without much thought. Her head falls onto the back of the couch, eyes sliding shut with a huff. “Don't ask Natasha to teach me to maim someone in front of you.”

 

“Or Clint,” adds Phil, his eyes darting to the archer who'd moved to lean against the side of his chair before leveling his eyes back at Steve. He could be imagining things, but he suspects Phil is glaring at him. “We don't need him getting suspended again for teaching a civilian classified combat techniques.”

 

“Can I ask in front of Agent Sitwell?” asks Darcy hopefully.

 

“No,” replies Phil with a shake of his head. “He'll only encourage you, which is the last thing we need.”

 

Darcy pouts a little, though it's clearly in jest. “Fine, I'll ask Fury to teach me. He'll do it.”

 

“He will,” agrees Clint, eyes darting down to Phil. “Fury's always saying she needs to be able to defend herself.”

 

“Clint, there is a difference between self-defense and combative interrogation techniques,” reminds Phil with a shake of his head.

 

Before Clint can respond, however, Tony takes the moment to cut in. “Huh, I think I'm starting to see where Darcy gets her crazy from.”

 

“I don't think you're one to judge Tony,” informs Pepper with a sigh. Phil doesn't say a word, just allows a touch of a smirk to cross his lips.

 

“Hey, I can still judge,” dismisses Tony, leaning forward like he's about to hear something good. “So, Agent, how is it _exactly_ you came to have a daughter, hm?”

 

Phil leveled his usual blank look at Tony and shrugged. “The same way all men do, Mr. Stark. If you want the details, I'm sure Pepper can find you a high school health class video to watch.”

 

Darcy shuddered, making a noise of absolute horror as she turned and pressed her face further into Steve's shoulder. “God, don't even JOKE about those. That video is torture. Seriously, I think watching it could qualify as an interrogation technique.”

 

“I'll keep that in mind next time I need to break someone,” assures Clint, possibly not as a joke. Steve isn't about to ask. He doesn't really know what Darcy is talking about, but he suspects he really doesn't want to know.

 

“It works,” confirms Natasha.

 

Both Clint and Phil raise their eyebrows at the red-headed Russian woman. Darcy lifts her head to give Natasha the same look of 'when did this happen and why was I not informed/invited?'. Natasha just shrugs and offers them that mysterious smile she uses when politely informing someone they are NOT going to get anything out of her. Without actually saying anything.

 

“Right,” sighs Phil, rubbing a hand across his forehead before leaning back to look up at Pepper. “Should we expect any more surprise visits tonight?”

 

“Not tonight,” assures Pepper. “I tried to talk Tony out of coming up, but he was insistent in the way only he is.”

 

“Hey!” Everyone ignores Tony's objection. They all know he's just doing it for show anyway.

 

Phil nods, standing to clear away the leftover food. “Then I'm going to clean up. Captain Rogers, would you please give me a hand?”

 

Steve nods nervously and moves Darcy off his lap before standing as well. Phil hands him the three pizza boxes, picking up the plates himself and heading for the kitchen with Steve trailing behind. He watches the older man wearily, nervous about what is to come. He can guess that Phil wants to talk to him of course. It's the same tactic he'd use if he wanted to speak to someone in private: find a way to isolate them from the group. And he can guess the cause: Darcy.

 

He hadn't meant to be cuddled up next to her when Phil had come into the room earlier. Plus, Phil had probably seen them when he came into the apartment, though how he'd gotten by without notice Steve wasn't sure. Maybe Tony's jokes about ninja's weren't as far off as he'd believed. Regardless of how it had happened though, he was pretty sure his boss was about to chew him out for cuddling with his daughter. It was beyond inappropriate.

 

“Sir, I can explain,” offers Steve as soon as they're safely out of earshot of everyone else in the living room.

 

“Explain what, exactly, Captain Rogers?” questions Phil coolly as he begins to dispose of the plates, motioning for Steve to set the pizza's on the counter.

 

Steve gulps a little. Of course Phil is going to make him sweat. He'd make himself sweat if he were in the man's position. “About earlier, sir. I didn't mean to act inappropriately towards your daughter.”

 

“I see,” replies Phil calmly as he moves to wrapping pizza. “And what, exactly, do you believe to have done that was inappropriate?”

 

“I was sitting too close to her,” states Steve without pause. “I didn't mean to be so close to her, sir. I'm not even completely sure how-”

 

Phil holds up a hand, halting Steve before he can finish. “Captain Rogers-”

 

“Steve,” insists Steve. It isn't fair for the man to call him 'Captain Rogers' when he just had dinner with the man and his family.

 

“Steve,” repeats Phil, “that's just Darcy being Darcy. She does that with everyone, Natasha included.” Phil stops for a moment, allowing Steve to process the idea of Natasha allowing anyone who isn't Clint to curl up next to her. It's a shock when the image clarifies, something that Phil can apparently pick up on because he only continues once Steve has that mental picture in his mind. “It's a strange idea, but Natasha is a good influence on Darcy. And she's very patient with her, somehow. I can only assume it's from her time dealing with Clint.” Shrugging, Phil returns to wrapping pizza even as he continues to speak. “However, I asked you to assist me because I want to know if you have any intentions towards my daughter or if Clint is running with one of his half-cocked ideas, again.”

 

It takes effort, but Steve manages not to outright choke at Phil's words. Really, he hadn't given the idea too much thought. Yes, Darcy is beautiful, lively, intelligent, apparently very dangerous, and strong. And yes, when he considers it, he is attracted to her. _Very_ attracted, if he's honest with himself. But looking at Phil, watching the man wearily eyes him without actually _eying him,_ makes Steve pause. Darcy is important to Phil, that is clear. Seeing as Darcy's mother is dead, Steve can understand Phil's drive to protect his daughter more than most father's might. And Steve doesn't want to take that from the man.

 

He starts to open his mouth, but Phil turns back to him and holds up a hand to stop him. “Before you say anything, Steve, I want to make it very clear that I am fine with you pursuing Darcy so long as you are sure you want to. I'm not asking you to confess to wanting anything more long term than a chance, but I want to make sure you're serious. And if you aren't, if you don't want to pursue her, then I want to tell Clint to knock it off now, before she gets hurt.”

 

Steve takes a moment to process Phil's words before speaking quietly, with a touch of hope that he hadn't been aware he felt. “Really?”

 

“Yes,” assures Phil, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. “Darcy is an adult, if she objects she'll make it clear. What I want to make sure of, is that she isn't getting her hopes up unrealistically.” He paused for a moment, before continuing. “She likes you, Steve. It's clear to anyone who knows her well. Which is why I'm concerned.”

 

“I'm interested, sir,” assures Steve. Really, he is. He just never let himself _think_ about it before. Darcy was so bubbly and energetic, he hadn't been sure she would want to go out with someone like him: a man out of time and place.

 

Phil smiles a little, nodding towards the kitchen entrance as he straightens up. “Then I will wish you luck. And also warn you that, should you hurt her, there are five very dangerous individuals who will be unafraid to come after you.”

 

Steve gulps a little, already knowing this. Then he mentally recounts the extent of Darcy's little family. “Who's the fifth, sir?”

 

“Phil,” insists Phil, just as Steve had insisted on the drop in formalities. “If you are going to date Darcy, or at least attempt to, then you should at least call me Phil. And the fifth is Pepper.”

 

“Potts?” asks Steve nervously. The CEO is frightening in her own right. Very frightening.

 

“Yes,” confirms Phil with a touch of a smile as he walks past Steve and back towards the living room. “She's been very fond of Darcy since she met her when she was eight.”

 

“Eight?” whispers Steve uneasily even as he follows Phil back into the living room, mentally calculating the extent of time Pepper would have had to bond with Darcy. What did he get himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I do potentially have one more part to this whole little, insane world but I'd need a lot of responses to actually finish and post it. It would be the story of the first year of Darcy's life, which is basically the story of how Phil and Clint got together. However, I would have to have a good response to this to finish it. So, basically, let me know what you all think of this one and if you'd want to see the other story too.

**Author's Note:**

> Though I doubt it, I might do a follow up bit on this (i.e.: next day, reactions, etc). Anyway, hope this wasn't too weird. I'm hopped up right now on way too much Skyrim and am currently having to treat my own asthma plus bronchitis, so I'm going to blame that combination for any insanity.


End file.
